There was a time when I was deep in my misery and my codependency that I subconsciously began filling my inner void with, of all things, animals. I’m not talking about something you’d see on an episode of Hoarders, which made it even more difficult to see at the time. You see, we all come across these things from time to time, whether it be something on the news or an article or some episode of My Strange Addiction, and most of us wonder what the hell is wrong with these people. But we say or think this, unaware of our own addictions and afflictions. These people have often started out like many of us and then kept going further down the rabbit hole. The void within eventually takes over and it is insatiable! Next thing you know you’re defecating in a corner in the living room.
Since my awareness has heightened, I am aware of all sorts of addictions that people have and yet they don’t “think” they have a problem. For example, sugar. I know people personally that have this addiction to sugar where they must have something sweet on a daily basis. If they don’t have it, they get all irritable and start jonesing just like someone addicted to drugs. Or that sneaky addiction to people that is so misunderstood that keeps people jumping from one relationship to the next to avoid looking at the void within themselves. The list goes on and on really.
I have my own shortcomings so I’m not faulting anyone. My point is that I am aware of these issues within myself and as we all know, acceptance is the first step to recovery. I have faith and trust in the process as I have been through it on multiple levels during the past few years. I am certainly no stranger to addiction since my dad was an alcoholic and addict and my ex husband is an alcoholic as well. But there are other addictions that are more subtle and not so talked about such as sugar or scratch-offs or collecting things. Many of these addictions go unrecognized because many of us justify it to ourselves because we think we are not hurting anyone else but ourselves. That’s not true. The truth is that as long as we are not facing up to our own shortcomings other people do suffer on some level because of us. Just take the people that have to live with the people that are at that level that they ended up on a television show or in that article. You don’t think they want to live like that, do you? Or the children that are in a house with an addict or alcoholic? We all know that they suffer in so many ways because of their parent’s addiction.
So, back to the original point of this post, since I am super aware of cycles and patterns that people “suffer” from I obviously catch them in myself as well. And because I refuse to allow myself to fall under the trap of the ego, I face these things head on. Back to the animals…I have realized that I had an unhealthy relationship with many of my pets. The things that I am trying to move away from, the things that aren’t a part of the life that I envision for myself, has alot to do with these animals. I’ve been aware of this for quite some time now but have just really began to be proactive in aligning myself to that vision that I have for myself. Last week, I rehomed two of my cats. I also placed an ad for my sweet bird over a month ago. Believe me, it took alot of examination of my beliefs surrounding pets and the responsibility that they are – what an important decision it is when we decide to care for another life – all of it. But what it boiled down to was what is in everyone’s best interest. I no longer have the time and energy to dedicate to them and to cleaning up after them. I want to use my energy and time doing other things, like focusing on my business and living my purpose. I am still keeping some of my pets, but I am making it all more manageable. I am able to let them go with ease because I truly feel that it’s what is best. I have checked in with the kitties’ new owners and everyone is quite happy. One got to go and be on “only kitty” so imagine how much attention he gets now instead of having to share with 4 others.
I believe that sometimes we have to sacrifice the wants of the ego for the needs of the soul. Sometimes we tend to overthink about the changes we know we need to make and that keeps us in that same cycle. I choose to end the cycles that keep me in a state of suppression. I’ve been doing this long enough to know that the rewards far outweigh the temporary feelings of inadequacy that the ego likes to make us succumb to. I’m stronger than that. You are too. I hope you find the strength to overcome whatever keeps you in a cycle of unhappiness and frustration. If I can do it, so can you. Blessings to you and I thank you for reading.