I have many clients that reach out to me because they are in a toxic relationship and don’t know how to get out of it. It isn’t that far into the coaching that it becomes obvious that they simply aren’t ready to – which is perfectly fine and once we get to this point, then the real work can begin. You see, often we stay in these relationships because we are scared of the change. What if I can’t find someone else? What if nobody wants me? I can’t imagine my life without so-and-so….and so we stay. Once we face the fears that we allow to keep us in the situation, then we are ready to move forward.
It’s important to remember that our fears will lie to us, tell us all sorts of stories to prevent us from seeing things they way they actually are. In the overall picture it’s important to ask yourself what really matters to you. Is it better to allow yourself to be used as a punching bag or to be walked all over and beaten down mentally, emotionally, financially and/or physically? It really helps to keep things in perspective when you start thinking about the things that are really important.
Once you start to face your fears and see them for what they are and start to heal the parts of you that once felt undeserving and unlovable, I promise you that you won’t ever let anyone treat you in a way that makes you feel this way again. You start to make better choices about the energy that you surround yourself with. Don’t be surprised if your romantic relationship isn’t the only relationship that gets dissolved in this process. Once you awaken to the truths of things like narcissism, you start to see these behaviors in other people, including maybe even yourself, and you will usually steer clear of those exhibiting these same behavior patterns.
Leaving a toxic relationship is one of the most difficult things many of us have had to do. It is also the most loving and empowering thing you can do for yourself – and it even sets a great example to any children that may be caught in the middle of it all. You send a big message to the Universe too, letting it know that you are no longer tolerating unacceptable behaviors. Do you know what happens when you do this with conviction? The Universe stops sending people to you that treat you in this way. This whole new world opens up for you and where you were once surrounded in darkness and chaos, you now peacefully sit surrounded in love.
Do the work. Get yourself to that place you need to be in order to get yourself out of the situation. Once you get there, the answers will come. The only thing you need to figure out is all the ways you’re going to show yourself just how much you love yourself. Start today!